Toddler

Ever have experiences which you'd swear use up all the energy you've got? Ever think, I can't go on like this? Ever know that things won't necessarily get better, or that they could get worse, or they could stay the same, and you'll face this experience for the rest of your life?

Sometimes I think of my father, who fled from Russia to Poland in order to escape Stalin, and finally ended up in Prague; who was imprisoned in the Therezien concentration camp for two years; who after the Soviet occupation ditched all material things, and along with my mother left family behind to escape across the Czech border to Germany two months after the war ended; or who endured German hatred for four years before finally being sponsored by a distant maternal relative to come to the states. So what are my problems compared to theirs? Their lives were completely changed by two world wars. I gather hope and belief in human resilience when I think of them.

My son has schizophrenia. That is the experience I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life. Of course, that is nothing compared to what he is going through. He will never lead the life others lead, or mature and accomplish according to his talents. At least that is what I think now, but recently he has surprised me a great deal, not only in recognizing when he needs help, but also in reaching out to others. Maybe they'll find a cure, but probably not within my lifetime or his. So I pray for him, and ask my friends to pray also.